So. Having been around deeply inebriated young adults whilst being more sober than not, I've come to the inevitable conclusion. I hate myself. Hear me out. I have this nasty habit of getting pretty drunk, and now that the truth has been unveiled, after being let out of the darkness and being thrust with the utmost force into the unbearably bright light of reality, I've realized not only do I have a nasty habit of getting pretty drunk, I, therefore, have a nasty habit of being a complete jackass. I suppose that's not much of a secret though. I mean, just ask my friends. Also, I've realized that I can't stand people. Absolutely detest them. Parties, as well. Parties are meant for one thing. An excuse for people to do things they regret, and fuck, which I suppose both go hand in hand, more often than not. People are always looking for someone to fuck, it's like second nature to these people. It's like breathing, but with genitals. I suppose I'm just as guilty of it, but at least I have enough testicular fortitude to admit it. That makes me better than the rest of you.
When is the last time you heard a song that brought you to tears? Has it ever happened? If not, you're not listening to the right stuff, man. When it hits you, my god, it will be unlike anything you'll ever feel. An absolute clusterfuck of feeling. It makes me want to blow my brains out, or beat the shit out of a brick wall until my knuckles are not only exposed, but are crumbling right before my eyes, but out of sheer joy. Too much of anything is bad, even happiness. Pure, uncorrupted, raw soul will, as Satan as my witness, will be the death of me. Either that, or metal, obviously.
In an effort to perk up, and not be completely morose around you, I've begun... Ugh, "pumping iron," for lack of better terms. It's to my understanding that regular and exercise is supposed to make you feel better. Warmer, happier, that sort of thing. That, and I'm going to get buff so I can start fucking people up when they piss me off.
Sometimes I feel like it's best to just cut your losses and move on, rather than try to rebuild a relationship with a person. Relationships, platonic or otherwise, should be easy. Without hurdles, and without struggle. If not, it's a matter of your own stubborn ways. To think otherwise just proves my point.
Fishing, ladies and gentlemen, is the single most important activity anyone, assuming they're in an appropriate climate, can practice. It stresses, even forces ease, relaxation, patience, and conversation. Only pussies and hippies don't like fishing. Pussies and hippies substitute fishing for yoga, and that's fucking stupid.
I swear to god, if I hear another person talking about how awesome Jersey Shore is, I'm going to personally travel to the Jersey Shore, and I'm going to destroy it. Oh wait. Look, the fact of the matter is people are buying into such a fucking gimmick. Those people are put there for people to make fun of. To laugh at. To sarcastically, and ironically cheer and mimic. Those people were chosen out of a huge group of people who were picked because they were best suited to absorb and feed off of this negativity. Like a plant converting sunlight into nourishment, these fucking vampires of constructive criticism only continue to thrive because of America's youth. Thanks again, assholes.
Jackie Wilson said... We lack the luster of yesteryear.
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